Emotional Atyachaar!

….the last part (4/4)

A striking must-see is the camera tricks used to assist narration and depict the atmosphere of the story line. A 30-minute episode will feature about 12-15 minutes of exaggerated & extrapolated expressions of the artiste in such a way that everyone in the show enjoys equal exposure by a Slow motion camera movement. About 7-9 minutes of the show are dedicated religiously to some extra-pampering, too-much-pyaar-mohabbat, magnificent grandeur and so-called love, respect and discipline of the lead actors/ actresses. Most of it doesn’t even exist in the real world. The left over minutes are obviously dedicated to the Shampoos, Oils, Sanitary Napkins, Toiletries, Perfumes and Consumer durables.

Another key note: Every situation, be it the birth of a new being, or the unexpected death of someone as unimportant as Lalit Kaka (the 60-year old servant) is dramatized on screen in the most flashy-fishy-manner. Do not be surprised if you find out that Lalit Kaka was actually Lalita Kaki who has been living in the house for more than 4 decades, secretly running the family business worth few 1000 crores. And that’s not the end. Lalita Kaki actually turns to be a don running the underworld and managing the gangs across continents. Surprisingly this is revealed by the new born baby who keeps staring at Lalit Kaka (read Kaki) in a strange look and Kaka (read Kaki) also realized that he (read she) is being watched over. Now the highlight: The name of the show is “Ek hazaaron mein meri behna hai”..

Wondering where is the “Behna?” Well the new born baby is the “Behna” who is the savior – after 2548 episodes they reveal the Behna – Waah Kya Kehna!!

I am trying to picture the over-hyped, over-done melodrama of the small screen, which is getting more and more unrealistic, synthetic and plastic. Let me list few more “serious on-screen efforts and attempts” of fooling the viewers..

a)      Any medical emergency is rushed to a ‘City Hospital’ and a team of doctors attend to this patient leaving all others in whatever state they might be. He is put up on Life support system even if he was admitted for mere cough and cold. Unfortunately he is diagnosed with some kind of tumor which actually is humor, because he has teamed up with the doctor to convey false reports to the family as he intends to unveil the grey character in his house. Strangely, the doctor accepts to be the partner in crime.

b)      All women of the house wear expensive clothes, jewelry and are well decked up at all hours of the day, irrespective of the economic situation of the family. She even goes to bed in full make-up and gets up likewise.

c)      Usually humans are said to be god-fearing, but here we find that the Gods are women-protagonist-fearing. One loud shout or a challenge thrown at the almighty is taken very seriously by the senior officials up in the universe and they politely agree & accept all demands made by the lady. At times they are even black-mailed to get their desire fulfilled else they caste a curse “saari duniya ka bharosa unpe se uthh jaayega” Now, who would want to risk the ignorance of trillions of human beings by just not obeying what one lady out there has to ask. The wish is granted.

d)      Most men of the house do not have much say in any (I reiterate ANY) matters of the house. It’s only (I reiterate ONLY) the women who takes the lead and actions off the situations. If they get to know any important thing related to a plot; they re-role themselves to a detective and go all out to solve the mystery, without revealing it to their near ones including their husbands. Be it even at the cost of losing on people’s faith and wrath of loved ones. Huh!

e)      The family owns many multi-million-dollar businesses in several parts of the world. Every deal that they do would be worth some few hundred Crores. The business meetings will have presentations that stamp the fact of having a gigantic revenue potential. But, if one factory is charred, then the same Lalit Kaka (or Kaki) comes to their rescue and offers them his/her small house as they are bankrupt now.

f)       The family is usually huge – atleast 15-20 people at one go. Breakfast, lunch and dinner comprise of more than 8 to 10 different delicacy each time.

g)      Every woman is clearly classified as either an epitome of virtue like Tulsi or Parvati (with bizarre outfit and loud jewelry to flaunt) or the proverbial bitch, who is forever hatching criminal plots against the good one.

h)      How much ever huge mansion the family stays in, the rooms are usually left unlocked for some vamp character to hear what’s being spoken inside.. Some peeping prying middle-aged lady will sneak-a-peak to any naughty moments the husband and wife are enjoying.. This lady will, however, derive some weird plot and construct a disaster out of THIS also.

i)        Moms are usually sexier than the son’s girlfriend.. At times they even look younger than the younger son.

j)        Any new member starts off with a very polite entry and portrays a very mature and intelligent composure. Later he/ she occupies the house, gets a dedicated place to stay in the house, becomes a business partner and starts taking crucial decisions besides falling in love with someone in the house.

k)      Extra Marital affairs are in vogue and so is Surrogacy.. Both these happen with much ease and almost 5 to 7 months (100 to 140 episodes) are booked to cook multiple stories around it.

l)        Plastic surgeries are the most common twist that a serial has to offer – The person changes, the voice changes, the languages change, the face changes and even the height and body change. However, he continues to remember the highlights of his last entity though.

The list is endless and I am sure you too would pick some more snippets next time you watch one of those soap operas. There have been decent attempts by some production houses to air serials like Sarabhai v/s Sarabhai or Instant Khichdi or KBC where the emphasis is merely on the core issue and has its own lifecycle. It reaches a pinnacle and takes a sabbatical only to come back with a more powerful story to tell.

Whatever it is, one must admit that the Idiot box has a lot more to offer then one can think of. With over 500+ channels across genres, we can safely choose and pick the best for us. Be it Sports or News, Music or Cartoon, Movies or Regional; we have a variety of intelligent stuff around us to consume. We have to make a choice of what needs to be experienced and passed on to our future generations. The makers of serials must realize that the gen-next is more demanding and will reason out things before they even start believing it. Hence it is imperative that we place a good mix of clever and thoughtful subjects which they cherish and preserve in times to come. Not just that; it will also aid in making them the future stake-holders of this great country that has so much in store.

I read somewhere: “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” Let this thing not happen!! Let the television also enjoy as much as a preference as the books.


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